Sunday, February 05, 2006
- 2:49 PM
only you would know how much i actually put in this time.
and honestly.its still hurting quite a bit.
after that whole escapade.i'm not sure how much i can put in anymore.
how much i trust you or even how much i want to trust you.
i'm still trying to be there for you.only proabably beacuse i think no one else would and i don't want to see you crumble.
i'm not sure how long this friendship will last.even though i hope its forever.
i still treasure you alot more than you think.
it doesn't feel the same anymore.and it doesn't even help talking on the phone becaause i hear mostly silence; sighs; and your funny breathing pattern.
and then i fall asleep and its not my fault.
being with you also isn't the same.
i've really been tryong hard to encourage you even through all your stuff and getting kicked out.but i really can't when i'm worrying about all the other stuff and trying to catch up with my studies.and all i hear is you sighing and that blank tired look.
as much as i want to be there for you.i don't want to freak out and breakdown.and even now.crying over you is not worth it.
and i feel quite stupid typing all this here because you'll never read it.
and i can't see my own blog either.this is ridiculous.]
okay now i can
